How it all began

I'm a day behind in my posts (not a good way to start a new adventure, eh?).  My name is Amy.  I love all things carbohydrate, cheese and bacon are their own food groups and the television is my best friend.  The result of this is I am overweight.  Okay, I'm fat.  We moved right past chubby and straight into fat.  My job requires that I sit all day, so let's call that a contributing factor.  I decided, with some encouragement from my doctor (scolding and threats), that I had to make some changes.  I'll be 30 in a few weeks and I guess with that number staring me down I started to evaluate my life and realized that I would A.) like to have kids some day and B.) not feel so awkward in my own layers.  I'd say "awkward in my own skin", but I am more of a layers girl.

I don't want to bore you with the details (that's why I pay for therapy), so I'll be as quick as I can.  I've been overweight for most of my life, with the exception of a brief period where I was healthy, then skinny, then what my best friend, let's call her Happy Camper or HC, refers to as Scary Skinny.  The last time I was really overweight I joined weight watchers and lost 80lbs.  I was feeling good and then he happened.  HC and I now refer to him as "he who shall remain nameless".  It was a bad, manipulative, awful relationship and during that time I lost more weight.  Out of the blue he broke up with me (after talking marriage) and dropped me off at my house one day saying "I don't love you and never really did.  It's over."  I found out a week later he had been dating one of my closest friends, too.  She conveniently omitted that part.  Needless to say, I thought my world had ended.  I felt nauseous most of the time and didn't eat much (or really leave the house) for several months.  Looking back, it was the best thing that ever could have happened.  I can't imagine how my life would be if he hadn't ended it.  It would be a lifetime of never being enough for him.  I met my now husband 6 weeks after The Event.  We were inseparable from the time we met.  He's the best thing that ever happened to me.  I got happy.  The result?  I got fat.  I lost a little before our wedding--crash diets DO work, you guys.  Then after we got married--I got REALLY fat.  I have literally doubled in size.  What a guy for sticking it out with me.  Seriously--I am a big ol' ball of crazy.

Here's where the crazy part comes in.  I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 21 and have been on a medication for it since then.  Life was good and everything was cruising right along.  When I started to gain a bunch of weight, I tried everything to keep it under control--crash diets, weird eating habits, exercise.  Nothing was working.  NOTHING.  I had been to the doctor a lot, and unfortunately I was seeing a QUACK.  I call him Dr. Doofus.  He kept telling me everything was fine, meanwhile I could have picked my nose and eaten the boogers in his office and he wouldn't know because he never made eye contact with me.  I started having weird symptoms, I mean weird like getting a shocking sensation in the head that can only be compared to a cattle prod, randomly falling down, extreme pain sensitivity, EXTREME lethargy...and that's just the beginning.  The best part was the mood swings.  OH the mood swings.  I'm am honestly surprised I still have HC and that my husband still loves me.  I had more medusa moments than not.  I went to several other doctors, which helped, until I finally found the guy who figured it out.  We'll call him Dr. Einstein.  Dr. E figured out some things--my thyroid doesn't work, for one.  Genius.  The other thing is that Dr. Doofus put me on a medication that was causing all of the other symptoms, but he couldn't put 2 and 2 together to figure that out.  Hence the Doofus.  Dr. E put me on a thyroid medication, as well as vitamins, supplements and a low sugar low carb diet.  The increase of my sanity and mental stability is such a relief.  I don't feel like cutting everyone I meet anymore.  I didn't realize the thyroid controlled so much.  Well, it does.  And mine is on the fritz.  So now that I have the meds under control and figured out what was going on, I feel much better.  Except for the fat part.

So what to do about the fat part.  My dear friend Alana came up with this wellness plan.  She started it on New Years Day.  My first thought was "I could never do that.  There is No Way I'm giving up cheese."  Well, it's a good thing crow isn't on the meal plan because I'd be eating it.  This is where the whole blog comes in.  I'm making a lifestyle change (and the hubs is too--solidarity!).  I've started her wellness plan and I can't fail, you guys.  I just can't this time.  I'm going to write about the changes I feel, how I'm liking it and how much weight I'm losing.  Sort of a journal of what's happening and hopefully it'll help her see how the wellness plan is working.  She's going to write a book, and I'm sure it'll be fantastic.

I'm a total disorganized moob and didn't weigh myself yesterday when I started.  Same thing with the photo and the measurements.  Whoopsie.  I would be a horrible protegé.  Her wellness plan includes eating 3 pieces of fruit for breakfast, coffee and water.  Lunch is a non-meat protein (beans/rice or tofu, etc), 2 cups of veggies, tea and water.  Dinner is more protein, but can be meat based like chicken, fish, or eggs, then 2 cups of veggies, caffeine free tea and water.  You can have more veggies if you're hungrier than the 2 cups.  Exercise is a key component, but it'll be 6 more weeks before I can do that.  I broke my foot.  No cool story like saving a little old lady from certain death.  I tripped over my own feet (and perhaps a dog) in the living room.  Head ricocheted off the tv...it was pure comedy.  Except for the broken foot part.

I'm sure more details will come out in the coming weeks, but for now--this is me.  I'm DYING for a string cheese.  Or sourdough bread.  But I'll survive.  Anyone else hearing Gloria Gaynor in the background?